influence isn't granted, its earned

Strategic influence isn’t built through polished decks of accurate data.

It’s built through having powerful conversations in the rooms that matter and with the people making the decisions.

I think we intellectually know this, yet we avoid it.

In this month’s newsletter I look at why, and suggest some small things to try to get started.

The Paradox Of Talking to People

Talking to people we don’t know well makes us want to run for the hills.

Yet it is also proven to make us happier, as a fascinating experiment by Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder on Mistaken Solitude reveals.

https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/were-happier-when-we-chat-strangers-our-instinct-ignore-them

In their experiment, one group of commuters was asked not to talk to anyone in their train carriage, while another was asked to speak to someone. What’s surprising is not that many people dreaded the thought of talking to a stranger, but that those who did arrived feeling happier, and that this happiness lasted.

Today’s communication tools do not build trust, they erode it

On the one hand we’ve got a set of beliefs telling us to avoid having meaningful conversations.

• We don’t want to bother people.

• We assume they’re too busy.

• We wait to be asked, or until we have something impressive to say.

And on the other hand we’ve got a set of tools that increasingly enable us to avoid speaking to a person at all: Slack, Teams, Email, WhatsApp, LinkedIn, AI.

But these tools, especially with AI permeating them, are undermining the very thing we need if we are to build strategic influence: Trust.

We are hoping to build influence through the rapid supply of better information. But when someone makes a decision, they are not only thinking:

• Did this person respond quickly?

• Is this accurate?

They are also asking themselves:

• Do I trust how this person thinks?

• Does this person understand what matters?

• Has this person taken time to understand my world?

3 Things to Try to Build more Strategic Influence

1/ Start with a Question:

Before you present, update, or recommend, ask a question:

• What are you hoping this will help you decide?

• What feels most important to get right here?

• What are you worried might happen if we get this wrong?

2/ Ditch the Deck:

Instead of walking someone through every slide, use the meeting to have the conversation the deck cannot have.

I’d like us to talk through the trade-offs together.

Or:

The data points one way, but I think the decision is more nuanced. Can I talk you through what I think is really going on?

3/ Follow up with what you heard, not just with what was said:

• What I heard is that the biggest concern is…

• It sounds like the decision you are really trying to make is…

• Based on our conversation, I think the recommendation needs to shift slightly towards…

Because framing matters

Thank you as always for reading. If you do try any of these, let me know how you get on. I always love hearing how small shifts land in real work.

Your Next Step

As a former Head of Insight who worked in insight for 15 years, I speak from lived experience, and know that it’s through a series of small tweaks, not a character overhaul that people can grow their influence and have the impact they and the work deserve.

I create bespoke small-group programmes for junior leaders working in agencies and insight functions to accelerate the step up from safe pair of hands to trusted advisor.

Because being good at the craft is not enough.

I am recruiting the next cohort of my Trusted Advisor group programme now. £1250pp, 6 places available for junior leaders working agency-side, or client-side.

If you or your junior leaders are ready to go from busy to impactful, then let’s chat.

You Burn Bright,

Zoe

zoe@youburnbright.com